I just realised I only ever write in xanga when something bad happens to me. I reckon I’m so stuck on the mistakes I’ve done. Waiting. Pondering. I never really do move on. That’s sad. I feel like the life has just been drained out of me. I’m tired. Unmotivated. Fed up. And worst of all …FAKE .. when someones askes me if im alright...i always have to say YES..with a big grin..even if i feel really shit For some weird ass reason I feel the need to make everyone around me happy. Or happier than I am. Make them not worry about me. Make me worry about them. I was really looking forward to Amanda’s party. I was meant to have the time of my life. But for some reason it wasn’t. I looked around at all my mates laughing and playing around. I wish I could have felt the same way. Acted the same way. BUT I just couldn’t bring myself to do that. I tried hard to even keep a smile on my face. People normally don’t know when I’m unhappy because I can hide it well. But this time it was different. People noticed. People asked. This is definitely NOT normal. Im not a type of depressive person. I’m mostly a smiley happy one. Or I can pull off a gay one anyway. That doesn’t mean though, that I don’t appreciate that people are concerned for me. Or the effort Megan and Grace put into our 3 musketeers outfits. They looked awesome. I’m glad I have mates who have my back. But what I am I doing wrong? (It’s a rhetorical question…I don’t want anyone to answer that) Nor do I need anyone to tell me to turn to God. I’m fed up of people saying that to me without any meaning. He’s not some kinda genie that makes all problems go away. He’s a comfort. Someone to believe in. And burdening him doesn’t make the problems go away. mickey_ | 
...seeing as i really really like musicals and the basketball bit was cool. it was a fast moving movie, felt kinda unfinished but it was still tops...after that was Grease but ...umm seen it too many times to count and it gets boring ...however it is still the number one classic!